


but darling, you're so far away

by hyunghoney



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Drunken Confessions, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, McDonald's, Mentioned Lee Minhyuk, hyungwon is an enigma, kihyun's just stressed and gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-27 16:56:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15029057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyunghoney/pseuds/hyunghoney
Summary: It’s Hyungwon’s nonchalance at appearing in Kihyun’s house at 9pm without warning that helps Kihyun find his voice.“What exactly are you doing here, beanpole?”Hyungwon nods in the directions of the bags he’d brought, that Kihyun had just set on the table. A closer look tells Kihyun they’re take-away bags from Mcdonald’s, which would explain why Hyungwon smells just vaguely like fried chicken tonight.“Min told me you hadn’t eaten since breakfast, so I thought I’d come and be your knight in shining armour.” Hyungwon jokingly shoots him a wink, not seeming to notice how a red flush creeps over Kihyun’s cheeks at the action.“I’d rather starve, thanks.”





	but darling, you're so far away

**Author's Note:**

  * For [94chaes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/94chaes/gifts).



> For the love of my life, who was wondering if Hyungwon would be the type of friend "who is willing to help out his friends with take outs while said friend is working hard and never got the time to eat out"

Kihyun’s always prided himself on his maturity, but now he’s seriously wondering why he can’t just be a regular college-aged kid, partying and getting drunk all week and withholding any sense of responsibility till one minute before the deadline. 

 

It’s 8pm on a Saturday and he sits at home finishing up a paper, receiving the occasional snap from his friends who are acting their age, getting blissfully drunk at some stranger’s party. His back hurts from sitting at his study table since he finished breakfast, and his eyes are starting to glaze over, the words on his laptop screen turning blurry. 

 

The most pertinent problem right now though is his stomach, which hasn’t stopped growling since about two minutes ago, and is insanely loud. (Probably because he hasn’t eaten since his breakfast that consisted of some sandwiches he found in the fridge, at 10a.m.) He tries to continue working, but it’s hard to concentrate with his stomach feeling like an empty pit. 

 

He gives in to his needs and gets up from the chair he’s been sitting on for the past 10 hours, and fights through the tingling sensation as the feeling comes back to his numbed legs. The fridge is pathetically empty when he opens it, and the only things he has are two grapes on a plate and a can of beer. 

 

Even for a broke college student, that can’t be considered a meal. He eats the grapes anyway, hoping they’ll somehow carry him through the rest of the night, since he can’t be bothered to walk a few blocks to the nearest Mcdonald’s. 

 

He returns to his books and sits, ignoring the feeling of self-pity that comes with studying alone on a Saturday night while his friends are out partying, and knowing it’s entirely his own choice. His phone buzzes then, with another notification: 

 

_ Snapchat (NOW) from Minhyuk _

 

He opens it without much interest, already used to seeing Minhyuk’s drunken shenanigans at every single party he went to. As he predicted, Minhyuk’s video opens on him sitting in the bathtub in the stranger’s house, rambling about how much he loves his boyfriend. 

 

It’s cute, but Kihyun’s too tired at the present moment to appreciate his best friend’s adorable drunk self. 

 

He perks up, however, at hearing a certain someone in the background of the video. 

 

“How did you get so drunk off of one glass of beer…” the voice mumbles, sounding vaguely entertained. Kihyun replays the snap to hear it again, to confirm his suspicions that Chae Hyungwon himself is at this party. 

 

Chae Hyungwon – the prettiest boy in the world (but you didn’t hear that from Kihyun): tall and lanky with swollen eyelids and lips to match, the mysterious flower boy nobody can figure out.   

 

God, now he really wishes he’d attended. 

 

It’s not like he and Hyungwon aren’t friends, they’ve known each other forever and Kihyun would say Hyungwon’s his best friend. They, together with Minhyuk, make up the best friend trio that Kihyun’s been with since he was a teenager. He loves them both, and bickers with them constantly, and they have a very comfortable relationship. 

 

Recently, though, Kihyun’s discovered that his feelings for Hyungwon extend beyond simply that of a love-hate relationship with a close childhood friend. It’d been going on for a few months now, and by this point it can’t be denied that Kihyun has a giant crush on Hyungwon. 

 

He goes back to the fridge and grabs the can of beer, downing it all along with any weird fluttering feelings rising in him at the sound of Hyungwon’s voice. He shakes himself out of it and sends a quick reply to Minhyuk. 

 

**yookyun** :  _ you must be having fun,, ive been studying for hours and havent eaten shit :(  _

 

He puts his phone away and turns back to his work. 

 

“It’ll be worth it when you graduate, hang in there.” He mutters encouragements to himself. He continues typing… 

 

… And only realises he’d fallen asleep when he’s woken by the sound of the bell 45 minutes later. He opens a bleary eye and stares at the laptop screen, which has gone dark at this point. Whoever’s visiting at this hour seems really impatient, since the bell doesn’t stop ringing until he yells “I’m coming!” and clambers off the seat to answer the door. 

 

He comes face to face with Chae Hyungwon, who smells just a little like beer and smiles serenely at him, two bags hanging off his arms. He leans against Kihyun’s door frame for support, and his eyelids are droopy. 

 

He’s drunk, Kihyun realises, as Hyungwon pushes the bags into Kihyun’s arms and strides into his dorm room. 

 

He’s still not fully awake, so he’s not very sure what Hyungwon is doing in his dorm room at this time, wobbling on his skinny legs and smelling of alcohol and fast food. He dumbly closes the door and walks back into the room, hands full of the bags Hyungwon had pushed upon him. He just stares at Hyungwon, still not comprehending. 

 

“God, your place is all dark.” Hyungwon flips the switches and the whole room lights up, making it all too clear that Kihyun hasn’t cleaned it in a week, with all the rubbish and clothes scattered around. 

 

Kihyun has the sense to act embarrassed, rubbing the back of his neck and laughing awkwardly. But Hyungwon doesn’t seem to give a shit, with his usual constant half-bored, half-amused expression on his face. He plops himself down on Kihyun’s chair like he owns the place, and flings his jacket over to the pile of clothes on the floor. 

 

It’s Hyungwon’s nonchalance at appearing in Kihyun’s house at 9pm without warning that helps Kihyun find his voice. 

 

“What exactly are you doing here, beanpole?”  

 

Hyungwon nods in the directions of the bags he’d brought, that Kihyun had just set on the table. A closer look tells Kihyun they’re take-away bags from Mcdonald’s, which would explain why Hyungwon smells just vaguely like fried chicken tonight. 

 

“Min told me you hadn’t eaten since breakfast, so I thought I’d come and be your knight in shining armour.” Hyungwon jokingly shoots him a wink, not seeming to notice how a red flush creeps over Kihyun’s cheeks at the action. 

 

“I’d rather starve, thanks.” 

 

Kihyun opens up the bags anyway, and pulls out the food, his stomach grumbling at the delicious aroma. Hyungwon hears the sound and laughs, a guffaw that always amazed Kihyun with how it doesn’t match Hyungwon’s softness at all. 

 

He digs in once all the food is out of the bags, his stomach not letting him hesitate for a moment.  

 

“Slow down, Ki, you’re gonna hurl if you eat that fast.” 

 

Kihyun doesn’t realise Hyungwon’s walked over and sat next to him until he’s halfway through his meal, and looks up in his most unglamorous state (hair uncombed since last night, mouth full of chicken, lips extremely greasy with oil) to see Hyungwon’s face uncomfortably close to his own. 

 

The place is so quiet. 

 

He swallows, and he swears he can hear it echo around the room. Hyungwon doesn’t pull away, still staring at Kihyun with those huge owlish eyes. 

 

“What?” Kihyun asks, his attempt at sounding casual coming out more like a squeak. Hyungwon blinks slowly, then reaches out to dab gently at Kihyun’s lips with a tissue. It’s so  _ quiet  _ tonight. 

 

Then Kihyun pulls back and lightly smacks Hyungwon away, then Hyungwon nagging at him to not be so messy, and the moment is over. Hyungwon just puts the tissue down and picks up his phone. 

 

Kihyun turns away, feeling awkward. 

 

Maybe it’s because tonight is so strangely quiet, all the kids in the building out for that party. Or maybe it’s because Kihyun’s extremely tired from studying all day. Or maybe it’s because Hyungwon is just a little drunk and keeps on staring at Kihyun like he’s never seen him before in his life. 

 

Tonight just feels different. Kihyun doesn’t know why. 

 

He shakes off the strange feeling and returns to eating, slower this time if only to not draw Hyungwon’s attention to his lips again. 

 

“Why didn’t you come today?” Hyungwon mumbles. He’s still scrolling on his phone, and he doesn’t look at Kihyun, but he shifts closer to Kihyun. 

 

Kihyun shrugs. He’s never been one for parties. As far as he’d known, Hyungwon hadn’t either. 

 

As if hearing his unspoken question, Hyungwon replies. 

 

“I was bored. I thought I might meet someone.” 

 

Kihyun thinks this is really the wrong time for Hyungwon to start spilling his heart about his new crush or whatever, when he’s stuffing his face with greasy fast food and severely repressing his feelings for Hyungwon, and when Hyungwon’s drunk and teetering on his feet, eyes glazed over as he scrolled aimlessly on his phone. 

 

“Did you? Meet that person?” Kihyun asks, heart clenching. 

 

Hyungwon just shrugs. 

 

God, why did he always have to be so inscrutable? 

 

Hyungwon’s nonchalant aura, his initially blunt personality, and his uninterested air pushed most people away once they got close to him. Hyungwon isn’t the type to let people in easily, preferring to keep to himself, but Minhyuk and Kihyun had soldiered through it, boasting pretty sharp tongues and thick skins themselves, and they’d been inseparable from the moment they’d met. 

 

After all these years, Kihyun thinks at least  _ he _ should be able to figure Hyungwon out. 

 

Kihyun leaves Hyungwon standing there when he’s done eating, and goes to throw the rubbish from the Mcdonald’s. When he comes back, Hyungwon’s staring again. 

 

He gives Kihyun a sombre look. 

 

“You need to start taking care of yourself more, okay?” His eyes feel like they’re piercing Kihyun, and Kihyun averts his gaze. 

 

“I’m serious. You can’t go a whole day without eating, it’s not good for you.” 

 

Hyungwon’s voice is low in his tired state, making the situation feel even more serious. Kihyun just laughs to undercut some of the awkwardness he’s feeling. 

 

“Don’t be so solemn, Chae. You make it sound like I’m dying.” His voice is joking, but Hyungwon just frowns at him till he agrees. 

 

“Okay, okay.” 

 

Hyungwon smiles and nods, almost to himself, looking adorably satisfied.

 

“Did you really leave the party and come all the way here just to bring me food?” Kihyun feels the gratitude now that his stomach isn’t growling over his thoughts. 

 

Hyungwon nods. His eyelids are drooping over his eyes slowly, probably tired from the party, but he gives Kihyun a loopy grin that makes him lose his breath anyway. 

 

Hyungwon’s eyes are still fixed on him, even as Kihyun feels the atmosphere shift, even as Hyungwon becomes quieter. 

 

“You take care of everyone but yourself, and I worry about you all the time.” 

 

When Hyungwon says that, he doesn’t really seem to be talking to Kihyun anymore. But his gaze is so soft and his voice is so quiet, as if he’s trying to entice Kihyun to come closer. 

 

Kihyun wants to. 

 

God, does he want to. 

 

But he turns away again, 

 

“Well, it’s getting late. Thanks for the food! Maybe you should be getting home?” Kihyun’s voice sounds funnily loud now, cutting through the silence and the inexplicable atmosphere. Hyungwon makes a face in response. 

 

“Don’t be a baby, Ki, it’s only 10pm, fuck. Let’s have some fun for a bit.” 

 

Hyungwon looks at him, gaze electric. Kihyun doesn’t understand, can’t follow, because the mood has shifted a thousand times tonight and he’s too lost in Hyungwon to be able to keep up. 

 

Kihyun wants to drink him in, kiss him until those perfect lips are red and wipe that look off his gorgeous face. He bites his lips at the thought but doesn’t respond to Hyungwon’s teasing. 

 

“I bought you food, so you should entertain me. It’s only right, Kihyunnie.” 

 

The pet name sends a jolt down Kihyun’s spine. Hyungwon’s whiny now, pouting and looking at Kihyun pitifully with his deep-set, wide eyes. Kihyun sighs, defeated, and Hyungwon smirks in triumph. 

 

“Okay, okay, what do you want?” Kihyun asks the big baby. Hyungwon shrugs. 

 

Kihyun thinks Hyungwon enjoys this, enjoys teasing him, coming out victorious in an unfair game of hide and seek that Kihyun never knows they’re playing, riling Kihyun up, making him curious and never giving anything away, and making him chase and chase and never giving him what he wants. 

 

Or maybe it’s just that tonight is such a weird fucking night, and it feels like it’s past midnight even though it’s only 10pm, and he can feel the beer creeping up on him, making his head spin, so he falls even further behind in solving the mystery of Chae Hyungwon. 

 

He thinks maybe he’d rather still be starving than go through this right now.

 

“Can you stop being so cryptic for one second?” He snaps. 

 

Hyungwon huffs and dares to look offended at his words. He shoots Kihyun a glare that is more adorable than scary and frowns. 

 

“I’m not being cryptic, I’m fucking flirting with you.” 

 

Kihyun thinks the more reasonable explanation is that the lack of food finally got to his brain and made him hallucinate this entire series of events. Because there’s no way on earth that Chae Hyungwon is flirting with him. 

 

Kihyun tries to collect his thoughts and convey them calmly and confidently. 

“W-what?” Is all Kihyun can muster. Hyungwon’s eyes bore into his own, too sincere to be joking, too intense to be teasing. 

 

“The party was boring.” Hyungwon fake-yawns to prove his point, and takes a step closer to Kihyun. Kihyun doesn’t take a step back. 

 

“You weren’t even there, so I came here to find you instead.” 

 

Kihyun feels like he’s choking on air. Hyungwon went to the party just to see him? Is he “someone”? Is it too much to hope, beyond hope, to assume that Hyungwon likes him? 

 

Hyungwon steps forward further, crowding Kihyun against the wall with his long limbs. With a finger, he lightly strokes Kihyun’s cheek. His eyes shine with exhilaration. 

 

Hyungwon’s slug lips are lightly tinted with colour. His huge eyes stand out, lined with black, and his puffy cheeks are pink and rosy. 

 

It’s so quiet. 

 

Hyungwon is so, so beautiful tonight. 

 

“I really fucking like you, Kihyun.” 

 

Kihyun’s breath catches, and Hyungwon’s hand is at the back of his neck, and he really fucking likes Hyungwon too. 

 

It’s 10pm on a Saturday night and Kihyun still hasn’t figured Hyungwon out, but that’s not important when Hyungwon pulls Kihyun in for a kiss that tastes like cheap beer and chicken, and this is all the answer he needs. 

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr @sakurachae or on twitter @hyunghonie


End file.
